


Break me

by CrankyWhenProvoked



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Mental Institution, Angst, Doctor/Patient, Emotional Manipulation, Fingering, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, Past Character Death, Patient!Sam, Rape, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, doctor!Lucifer, emotionally broken!Sam, mentions of sexual abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-01
Updated: 2014-05-02
Packaged: 2018-01-03 02:46:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1064828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrankyWhenProvoked/pseuds/CrankyWhenProvoked
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After an accident, Sam is in a mental institution and the doctor takes a special interest in him, for all the wrong reasons</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sam shifted in his seat a little, listening to the nurses talking as he picked at his food, looking around the room. He really didn't like Wednesdays. Most of the days he didn't mind, he could sit and look at the picture books the library had, draw in the art room or even sit and watch the birds. On Wednesday though was when he, and others, had to see the doctor. He really didn't like the doctor, didn't like what happened when the nurse would leave, but he would get in trouble if he told anyone.

For the first three years he was here, after the accident when he was fourteen, the doctor was a nice older lady. She didn't yell at him or try to hit him or touch him in anyway that wasn't medical, even would let him stay and finish the candy she would bring for him. One day that changed though, last Sam heard she had passed away and now they had a new doctor. He wasn't anything like the old one, he was younger and didn't smile all that much. Unless it was at the nurses who were curvy, then it wasn't a nice smile, it had a bite to it. The first time Sam saw him, he had the same kind of smile and Sam didn't understand.

After the accident, he didn't understand much. He could still talk, though couldn't find the right words more times than not, so often he just stayed quiet. One of the teachers the place had had tried to teach him to read again, though he just couldn't anymore. So he didn't have to go to that class anymore, got to go to more art classes. Most of what he drew was his brother Dean, who didn't make it along with his parents after the crash. The doctor told him more than once he needs to stop focusing on that old life, no one loved him anymore. He did his best not to cry when the doctor would rip the drawing and throw them away, but he couldn't help it sometimes. At least he still had the picture of all of them, so he could remember their faces, especially Deans.

“Sam,” One of the nurses came over, tapping him on the shoulder. “It's your turn honey.”

Sam nodded, drinking the last of his milk before standing and throwing the garbage away before following her. They made a few turn and got to the room, leading him in and having him hop onto the table. He held out his wrist so she could scan it, before she took his vitals, writing them down on the clip board.

“Ok Sam, Dr. Morningstar will be in soon.”

He nodded again as she gave him a smile and wrote more on the clip board, adding some things to the computer. Sam wasn't sure why they even used his last name, his first name was much more appropriate for him. It didn't take long before the doctor walked in, giving the nurse a small smile, she wasn't his type.

“Here's you next patient, Lucifer. I gotta run.” She said, handing the clip board over, Sams heart dropping.

Sometimes if the nurses didn't have anywhere to be, they would stay and Sam would be free for that week, though that was few and far between.

“Thank you, I'll call for an escort when I'm done.” He said, looking at the chart as she walked out.

Going to the door, Lucifer closed it and tossed the clip board on the desk, moving back over to where Sam was.

“Vitals look good.” Was the only thing that Lucifer said before he slapped Sam across the face.

The younger let out a whimper as he held his face, looking up at Lucifer through his bangs, the other crossing his arms after grabbing Sams hands and cuffing them to the bed, with the restraints for the more belligerent people.

“Do you remember what we talked about last week?” He asked, his eyes two frozen chips of ice.

“Dean.” Sam said softly.

“Exactly, I told you to find something else to focus on, but then I get handed these.” Lucifer snapped, grabbing a folder off the table.

Sam knew exactly what was in it, all the pictures he drew that week, the ones mostly of Dean. When the accident happened, he couldn't remember much, just how much Dean loved him and would do anything for him. That's one of the reasons he survived, was Dean. He couldn't remember what his older brother did to help, but he remembered that he did. That was one of the reason his picture was so important, it helped him remember Deans face.

“Now, time and time again, we've had this talk, Sam,” Lucifer sighed, pulling the drawings out. “And we're not going to have them anymore.”

Like always, Lucifer ripped the drawings and threw them in the trash, dropping the folder in on top of them.

“Do you know why we're not going to have these talks anymore about these?”

Sam shook his head, his stomach tightening at the look that Lucifer was giving him, he didn't like it one bit.

“This.” Lucifer said, reaching into his pocket.

“No, no, pleeze.” Sam whimpered, looking at the picture of him, Dean and their parents.

“No, you need to let that life go, it's over.” Lucifer said, reaching into another pocket.

Tears started streaming down Sams face, trying to struggle with the cuffs as Lucifer pulled out a lighter.

“No, let me keep, please, I'll stop.”

“No.”

The flick of the lighter was louder than Sams whimpering pleas, the corner of the picture being put into the flame. Sams pleas just turned into sobs as the picture slowly got eaten by the fire, before Lucifer put the last of it in the sink to finish burning. As the smoke started, Lucifer washed the ash down the sink. Coming over to Sam, Lucifer grabbed Sams chin, making him look up at him.

“Now I hope we can get past this drawing Dean problem and start realizing that no one cares about you anymore,” Lucifer said, making Sam nod his head. “And next week, I won't have to spend this time yelling at you and can just get to the fun stuff. So make sure that you're ready for that, got me?”

Lucifer made Sam nod again, before letting his face go and undoing the cuffs, before going to the desk and picking up the phone. After a short conversation with the head desk, Lucifer unlocked the door and opened it, waiting in the door way. Soon after a nurse showed up to take Sam out.

“I think he needs to go back to his room, maybe take a nap, we had a breakthrough today.” Lucifer said, motioning to Sam, who was still crying.

“Of course, come on, Sam,” She said, taking his arm gently. “You are such a sweet doctor.”

Sam didn't look up, but he knew Lucifer had a 'please, you're too much' look on his face, as the nurse lead him to his room. After the door was shut behind him, he went to the place that the picture used to be, stroking the empty space. He already was having trouble remembering what they looked like, his moms smile or Deans eyes.

Lying down in his bed, he hugged his pillow tight as he let the tears keep falling. By morning he knew that he wouldn't be able to remember what Dean looked like anymore. And how long after that would he not even remember his name or that he even had a brother. He didn't know and that scared him more than whatever Lucifer had planned for him.


	2. Chapter 2

It was Friday when Sam realized that he couldn't remember what Deans face looked like any more. Couldn't remember the color of his eyes or his hair, couldn't remember if he had dimples like Sam did or anything like that. He was in the middle of lunch when it hit him, tears falling down his face as he pushed his food away and laid his head down and cried. The nurse that noticed him asked him why, though he couldn't answer, the doctor would get mad at him. So he was given a sedative and sent to lay down and told he could have double at dinner, since he didn't eat much lunch.

His dreams were a little comforting, where he could feel warmth and that he was loved, not just tolerated like he was here. He could sometime almost make out faces and when he woke, though they might be Deans, but he couldn't fully remember.

After his and the doctors encounter and once the tears stopped falling so much, he found a crayon and a piece of paper. The paper was now hidden under his pillow, just two words messily scribbled and one of them spelled wrong. 'Brothor- Dean'. He was terrified that it was going to be found, but he needed to remember Dean, he couldn't forget him.

Over the weekend he spent most of his time in the library, looking at the picture books and every once and a while picking up a regular one. He couldn't understand most of the words, the letters not making any sense, and just making him feel like crying. So he stuck to the pretty pictures and tried not to think to much about Wednesday and what it would hold.

When said day rolled around, he wished he could just play sick but Lucifer was a regular doctor as well as a psychiatrist. So he would be forced to see him anyway and more than likely make the other mad that he was trying what he was, to get away from him. That only left going and hoping that one of the nurses would stay with him, but it didn't seem that likely.

“Sam, your turn.” The nurse said, waiting as he finished what he was eating before escorting him out and to the room.

As always she did the normal routine and then left when Lucifer got there, Sam tensing a little as Lucifer locked the door and turned around.

“Well well well, it seems we found a way to get through your head.” Lucifer said, picking up the folder on his desk and leafing through it.

In art class he had more taken to drawing the birds that he had watched the day before and flowers that could be seen outside the yard. On Thrusday, he had wanted to draw Dean, though he couldn't remember enough, so he turned in into the teacher.

“Not one drawing of your brother, I knew that we would get there, just took the right motivation.” Lucifer nodded, setting the folder back down.

Making sure the door was locked, Lucifer came over, wrapping his fingers in Sams hand and tugging, pulling him off the table. A whimper came from Sams lips as the other male turned him around and pushed him over the table.

“Now I don't have to spend all of our time yelling at you, I can just get right to the fun, isn't that right?” Lucifer tightened his fingers in Sams hair, making the teen nod his head.

Grabbing Sams wrists, he hooked them in the restraint cuffs, before pulling back and pulling Sams pants and underwear down. He squirmed on the table as he heard Lucifer undoing his pants and grabbing things from his desk. Sam yelped a little as a wet finger was pressed into him, a moment later Lucifers hand slapped harshly over his mouth.

“Remember Sam, someone hears and you're going to be in trouble.” Lucifer growled into his ear, pressing his finger deeper.

Sam tried to bed more quiet though Lucifer pressed a second finger into him before he was ready, the pain shooting up his back. The whimpers he was making seem to spur Lucifer on more, a third joining the other two.

“There we go, going to be nice and tight aren't you?” Lucifer groaned, letting go of Sams mouth.

As much as he wanted to scream, the pain worse then any amount of times Lucifer hit him, but he couldn't. He didn't want to get in trouble, like Lucifer said he would. The soft sound of Lucifer pulling his pants down was heard over the wet noise his fingers were making. A crinkle of foil was heard before Lucifer pulled his fingers out, making Sam jolt.

“Stop, peez stop.” Sam whimpered into the table, his teeth clenching as something much bigger started pressing into him.

“Don't have time to stop, that would make me very uncomfortable.” Lucifer moaned softly, pushing further in.

Sam just whined again, gasping in pain as Lucifer grabbed his hips and held him in place as he continued thrusting into him.

“Going to keep your mouth shut aren't you? Not that you could tell anyone what's happening to you, you're too dumb now.”

Tears that were on the brim of falling started coming down his cheeks at the words coming from Lucifer. He couldn't remember his life before the accident, but one of the nurses had told him what was in his file. Told him that he had, had a good chance of getting a scholarship to a college and that he was talking about being a lawyer. So hearing the words that all of that was now gone and that he was dumb now, hurt almost as much as what Lucifer was doing.

“Fuck, you are tight.” Lucifer gasped.

The tears were starting to create a puddle under Sams face as Lucifer started moving harder, his breaths ruffling the back of Sams hair. His thrusts grew harder for a few moments before he pressed in harder, making Sam whimper in pain, a weird pulsing feeling in him. Lucifer pressed a hand to the middle of Sams back as he pulled out, moving around behind Sam. He barely jolted as Lucifer pulled his boxers and pants up, before undoing the cuffs. Grabbing Sams hair again, he pulled Sam around and made him sit back on the table, Sam wincing in pain. Once more Lucifer called the head desk, throwing a tissue in Sams face.

“Clean your damn face.” He snapped, unlocking the door and opening it.

Sam wiped his face and nose the best he could, tossing it in the trash as the nurse showed up and talked to Lucifer for a few moments.

“And I'll see you next Wednesday.” Lucifer said, grabbing Sams arm lightly, leading him to the door.

All he was able to give was a small nod as the nurse took him towards the library, each step a new deep pain. He didn't like what Lucifer did, though he was right, Sam wasn't entirely sure what had happened, even if he did want to try and tell someone. So he was going to just keep his mouth shut and hope that Lucifer didn't make it a habit, it hurt to much and he wasn't sure he would be able to not cry when he sat down.


	3. Chapter 3

Saturday was the day Sam realized that he wasn't as safe as he thought he was, not in the least. It started out normal enough, he woke up and he was given the medicines that he was on. Nothing as extensive as some of the other patients, just a multi-vitamin and a supplement to help memory. After that it was breakfast and then off to the library for a while, looking through the new books that they got. For a while one of the nurses played checkers with him, though she kept having to remind him how to play, before she was called to do something.

It was during lunch that this realization hit him. He had just finished his sandwich and opened his grape juice, lifting it to his mouth when he looked up. Just about a dozen feet from his table stood Lucifer, in his street clothes, talking to one of the nurses. It didn't even register that the juice container had fallen from his fingers until there was a little crash and he was suddenly wet. A small whimper came from his lips as he looked down at the purple juice soaking into his clothes.

Just a few moments later a nurse with a rag was over, sopping up the juice on the table.

“Oh Sammy,” She said softly, having him stand. “You're going to be all sticky if you don't have a shower.”

“I'll take him, I don't mind.” Lucifers voice chimed in, suddenly right next to Sam.

“Oh you are just the best, it would really help. Just grab some clothes and a towel from the closet before you go.” The nurse smiled as someone arrived with a mop to clean up the rest of the juice.

“Come on Sam, lets get you clean.” Lucifer smiled, his usual bite gone, though Sam knew it would be back. It always came back.

Walking out of the room, Sam resisted the urge to let the tears fall like he wanted them too, since it would make someone ask questions. So he followed silently next to Lucifer who kept his hand on Sams lower back, the touch uncomfortable. They made a quick stop at the closet, which was the name they gave the laundry room and then were off again.

For a moment Sam felt relieved when the bathroom attendant was sitting on his normal chair, reading a book, though that was short lived.

“What happened?” Mike, the attendant, asked as Lucifer put the towel and clothes on the row of sinks across from the showers stalls.

“Spill in the cafeteria, nothing to much to worry about, told Nancy I'd bring him down.”

“Ah. Well if you don't have anywhere to be, mind if I step out for a bit, need to stretch my legs.”

“Not at all, I don't mind.” Lucifer smiled, and Sam didn't like it one bit.

Mike nodded, putting a marker in his book before he headed out of the bathroom and Lucifer turned back to Sam.

“Strip.” Was the only thing he said before he went and made sure all of the shower stalls were empty.

Sam pulled his clothes off slowly, dropping them in one of the sinks, knowing why Lucifer chose this bathroom. There were a few different ones in the place, most for them for the patients, though there were some just for the staff. This one however was for the patients, though it didn't have toilets, just showers and sinks. Sam overheard once it was simpler for them who just needed showers or to brush their teeth, so they didn't have to bother with the toilets. And since each hall had scheduled shower time and only came if something happened, like a spill, it was going to be empty.

Sam had just finished taking his clothes off when Lucifer stepped back up, his hand falling against the skin of Sams ass. The younger jolted, a deeper shot of pain falling through him. He could sit down a lot better since Wednesday, though he had to do it gently, so the slap caused the pain to act up a little.

“Get in the stall and wash yourself.” Lucifer said, giving the cheek he slapped a squeeze.

Nodding, Sam stepped into the shower and fiddled with the water a moment before he stepped under the spray. It didn't take him long to get unsticky, though his heart was beating fast, hearing Lucifer on the other side of the curtain. He just finished washing the soap out of his hair when Lucifer opened the curtain and stepped in, his clothes now gone. Sam tried for a moment to get around him, though his chest collided painfully with the wall as Lucifer pushed him against it.

“Now now now, don't be like that.” Lucifer snapped, pressing against Sam.

Sam shook his head, trying to move though Lucifer was stronger.

“Now, we don't have much time, but I plan on having you.”

If Sam thought it was painful the first time, it was nothing compared to this time, Lucifers fingers covered in body wash. It burned more, making it hard to keep his whimpers down, though Lucifers hand found his mouth again.

“Shut up, you don't want to get in trouble now do you? Be locked up and never given any fun things to do, never look at those pretty books and never get to draw, that wouldn't be good and what will happen if you make too much noise.”

Sam tried to fight the whimpers more, he didn't want to be found and punished, but it hurt so much as Lucifer pulled his fingers out and pressed into him again. This time was more brutal as well, Sam being harshly pressed against the wall as Lucifer continued to move in him. Whimpers were still falling out of his mouth, but the others hand was there to catch them, keeping it low under the noise of the shower.

This time when Lucifer gave him a few more hard thrusts, the pulsing felt different and pushed into him more. And when he pulled back and out of Sam, something hot leaked down his leg.

“Clean yourself up.” Lucifer snapped, cleaning himself off quickly before stepping out.

Cleaning himself was harder, his chest hurt a little where Lucifer pressed it into the wall and his ass burned. Though he got most of it to go away and the hot that Lucifer left in him as well. As he stepped out of the shower, after turning it off, Sam was handed the towel. For a moment he wondered why he didn't throw it at him, until he saw that Mike was back. Drying himself, he did his best not to wince as the way he ached and how it still burned inside of him. Putting his clothes on was a bit of a chore, but soon enough was dressed and after a small wave to Mike, Lucifer led him out.

After they were back in the cafeteria, Lucifer left him in the line where he was able to get more food and another juice. Sitting this time was even more painful, but it didn't compare to the feeling of dread now around him. He thought he was safe every day except Wednesday, though today proved how wrong he was.


	4. Chapter 4

Sitting on the table, Sam tried not to fidget as him and the nurse waited for Lucifer to come in. After Saturday, Sam was even more scared than normal, though he was glad that he hadn't seen the man again. Though this was the day he always saw him, so it couldn't be avoided.

“Sorry I'm late,” Lucifer said, walking into the room, just putting his white coat on. “Got caught up talking to Jennifer.”

“It's ok Doctor.” The nurse said, handing over the papers she had before leaving the room.

Lucifer looked over them as he closed the door, locking it, making Sam tense up as he walked back over to him, standing in front of him.

“Your vitals look good, though they always do don't they.” Lucifer said, looking up at Sam.

Sam nodded, a confused look on his face.

“And it looks like your drawings are getting better and I've been told that they've started trying to teach you pottery.”

“Yea.” He replied softly.

“Do you like learning that?”

“Is messy.”

“I suppose it is.” Lucifer chuckled, setting the papers he had down, his hands reaching up to Sams face.

Flinching a little, Sam wasn't expecting the soft touch of Lucifers fingers on his face, or how they carded gently through his hair. The elder did that a few times more before tilting Sams face up and pressing their lips together. Sam made a confused noise as the elder kissed him gently a few more times before pulling back and letting him go.

“Where do they take you after this?” Lucifer asked.

“Library.” Sam answered quietly, still confused.

“Come on then, I'll take you there.”

Lucifer opened the door and motioned for Sam to follow him, which he did, his body still tense. It didn't go away until they were actually at the library, getting worse when they would pass the bathrooms.

“You spend a lot of time in here?” He asked, waving to the nurse watching the place.

“Yea.”

“What books do you like to read.”

Sam made a little face, his cheeks turning red. “Can't.”

“Pardon?”

“Can't read.”

“Oh. Picture books then?”

A small nod.

“Do you have a favorite?”

Another nod.

“Show me?”

Sam was a little nervous as they made their way to where the books were, Sam looking over them. His favorite was one that was full of puppies and kittens, all of them in cute hats or with other props. But he didn't trust Lucifer enough to tell him that, since he didn't want that book to suddenly disappear like Deans picture did. So he picked his next favorite and handed it to the man, it was one that was full of flowers and different kinds of bugs.

“That's very nice.” Lucifer said, looking through it for a few moments before handing it back to Sam.

Sam nodded, putting it back on the shelf.

“Well, I need to get ready for my next patient. I'll see you next week.” And with a small smile he was gone.

Sitting down in the bean bag chair that was there, he was more than confused at what had happen, though glad Lucifer hadn't touched him. It just didn't make any sense. So all he could do was pick up one of the other books and flip through it, not trusting that Lucifer wouldn't still be hanging around somewhere.

~

Throughout the week, Sam saw Lucifer a few more times, each time making him feel tense until he was gone again. Each time though, he didn't do a single thing to Sam, just gave him a small smile or didn't even really look his way at all. When Wednesday came around again, Sam still didn't have an answer as to why Lucifer was suddenly being nice, though he couldn't bring himself to not be afraid of him.

He was still tense when Lucifer walked into the room and the nurse left, though once again he picked up the papers and didn't glare at him.

“You couldn't sleep a few nights huh?” Lucifer asked, looking up after he put the papers down.

“No.”

“Any reason?”

“Bad dream.”

“Oh? Can you tell me what they were about?”

“Don't remember.” Sam said, hanging his head a little.

“It's ok, we all have dreams like that sometimes.” Lucifer said, stepping closer.

Sam winced a little as Lucifer raised his hand, though all he did was run his fingers in Sams hair again, petting him softly. He liked having his hair long and even though he was still scared of Lucifer, having the man playing with it felt nice.

“Like that?” Lucifer asked, tilting Sams chin up.

He nodded slightly, trying to fight the wince at the memory of Lucifer pulling his hair, hoping he didn't do it. It really hurt. But Lucifer just kept petting his hair, giving it soft tugs instead of hard ones.

Again like the week before, he tilted Sams chin up, giving him another soft kiss, fingers still petting through Sams hair. This time the kiss lasted a little longer, though it never got any harder than soft presses of their lips, Lucifer fingers moving through his hair. He only pulled back when the phone on his desk started to ring, him moving over to answer it.

“Hello? Yea, we're done. Sorry, thought we were getting somewhere. Sure, send a nurse.” Lucifer said, pausing to let the other person talk a moment before hanging up.

Moving over to Sam, he gave his hair one more pet before he opened the door and waited for the nurse, that was there a few mintues later.

“See you next week Sam.” Lucifer said as the nurse lead him away.

He was still more than confused, though he was starting to relax a little more, seeing as Lucifer didn't seem interested in hurting him anymore. The book he showed him was also still in the library, so maybe Lucifer was changed.

~

The next week Sam didn't see Lucifer at all and he found himself getting a little sad, since he had gotten used to the small smiles and things. So he actually found himself looking forward to Lucifer coming in the room as he sat there on Wednesday.

Like the last two weeks, Lucifer came in and looked over the papers for a bit and locked the door after the nurse left. After putting them down, Lucifer moved over and started playing with Sams hair, relaxing as the male ran his fingers through the locks.

Lucifer smiled a little as Sam actually started kissing back a little when he leaned in, kissing him gently as he pulled Sam a bit against him. It really felt odd not being scared with Lucifer between his legs, though he couldn't really care with how sweet he was being kissed.

This time it was a beeping that made Lucifer pull back, pressing his thumb softly against Sams lips when the younger tried to follow him.

“Our time is up.” Lucifer said, going over to the phone and making the call before going and unlocking and opening the door.

As Sam and the nurse left, Lucifer said his usual 'see you next week' and Sam nodded, smiling a little before they walked away. It felt really nice feeling loved in a place where most people just ignored you, even if Lucifer had done things to him in the past. He was different now, so it was easy to forgive him.

~

The next Wednesday, Sam didn't feel like waiting for Lucifer to come in, he almost felt like going and finding him. But he sat down and waited for the man to come in, him taking a little longer than normal, but soon enough was in. After the nurse left and the door was locked, Lucifer came over and kissed him for a few moments before pulling back, Sam making a bit of a confused noise.

“Been such a good boy lately haven't you?” Lucifer asked, giving Sams hair a small pet.

Sam nodded a little.

“Are you going to be an even better boy for me?”

“Huh?” Sam asked, eyebrows coming together in confusion.

“Want you to bend over the table for me, let me touch you like before.”

Sam shook his head, he didn't want that, he wanted the sweet kisses and touches not that. It had taken nearly a full week before it stopped hurting last time, even with the pain pills he had asked for.

“Why not, you want to keep being good don't you?” Lucifer asked, his voice lowering a little.

He shook his head again, a whimper slipping out as Luicfers hand stuck out and against his cheek before pulling him by the hair off the table.

“Little fucking tease then aren't you?” He asked, slamming Sams over the table, making his head bounce once.

“No.”

“Yes you are, see I was trying to be nice and make you not afraid of me anymore,” He growled, hooking Sams wrists to the table. “And figured I could get you to calm down and give me more easily what I want. And you started kissing me back, but no, you don't want anything else.”

“No.” Sam whimpered, his head throbbing where it had hit the metal.

“Well too bad, I tried being nice and letting you give it to me willingly, but it's too late for that now.”

Sam tried not to make too much noise as Lucifer pulled down his pants and underwear. There was a small snick, then two wet fingers pressing against him, then into him, making him cry out.

“Shut up, this is your fault and you don't want trouble do you?” Lucifer snapped, pressing the fingers in deeper.

He tried to keep his noise down, though Lucifer didn't seem eager to make this non painful, since after he pulled his two fingers out, there was the foil crinkle and then he was being split open. Lucifers hand found his mouth and he started to move faster.

“Going to do this every time I see you, do what I can to see you more than just once a week.” He growled in Sams ear.

The younger whimpered, wrists pulling at the restraints as Lucifer started moving even harder inside of him. It didn't last as long as other times, though it hurt more after the small pulsing and Lucifer pulling out. After his pants were fixed, he expected Lucifer to let him get back on the table, though he gasped as a needle was pushed into his neck. He could feel the sedative working through him as Lucifer undid the restraints and getting him back on the table, before putting them back on. Walking over to the phone, he picked it up and dialed a number, waiting for it to ring.

“Yes, this is Dr. Morningstar, I need a nurse and a security to come get Mr. Winchester. He tried to attack me, I had to sedate him. No, I don't think that another doctor is needed, maybe just more days with him, to work on this aggression. Three times a week? Perfect.”

Lucifer said a few more things, though Sam couldn't really concentrate, his head hurt and he was feeling sleepy. Though he knew it was only going to get worse from here and for the first time, he wished he could just die in his sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Because of the paper work and other things that Sam didn't quite understand, not that anyone tried explaining them to him anyway, he didn't have to start the three a week till the following Monday. Which he was more than grateful for, though at the same time, each day that went by, started to get worse. Since he knew that what Lucifer had planned for him was going to be bad, even though he had just told the truth. But that was bad, wasn't it? Since if he told the truth of what Lucifer was doing, he was going to get in trouble for it. So truth was a bad thing, which goes against what he can sort of remember from his old life. Though his old life didn't matter anymore, it was just these gray walls and soon to be a lot of pain.

On Sunday, Sam was told about what would be starting the next week. That he would be seeing Lucifer on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, but that wasn't all. If he started showing aggression to anyone else, he would be immediately taken to Dr. Morningstar. Sam wasn't sure what good that would do, he guessed it would be to 'help' him. Everything they were doing was to 'help' him, except for Lucifer, who didn't really care about him. As he had stated more than once, no one did anymore.

So on Monday, he fidgeted most of the day, since they didn't tell him when the appointment was going to be. Not that he could read the clocks anymore. When he saw one that wasn't round, he had a small idea about them, he could remember 1 and 4, but that was about it. At lunch he was even more worried, since that's usually when the Wednesday appointment is, but it was over and still no doctor. A small shred of him prayed that maybe, just maybe he didn't actually have to go, but that was short lived.

He was on his way to pottery class, when a nurse and a security guy stopped him. In a way he wanted to tell her that she didn't need the big guy, with the muscles, but they followed him around now. Since he was listed as 'dangerous' for the time being.

“It's time for your appointment, Sam.” She said, letting the guy take a hold of his arm and lead him back down the way he had come.

Sam nodded, a little solemnly as he was lead to the office, the security locking him to the table when they got there.

“Are you sure you don't want any help, Luci?” The nurse asked Lucifer, who was standing next to his desk, folder in his hand.

“Never going to get better if we don't try and go right back to normal.” Lucifer said, putting on a brave face.

“You are such a brave man,” She smiled. “Just press the panic button if he starts getting out of hand.”

“Will do.” Lucifer nodded, waiting until they left before he closed and locked the door, then turning to Sam.

If he had though he saw Lucifer evil looking before, it was nothing compared to what he looked like now, with the smirk on his face.

“Well isn't it nice to see you.” Lucifer said, moving over, pushing on Sams chest, making him fall backwards.

Sam whimpered a little, which earned him a smack across the face.

“Now now, no noise from you. You earned this and you are going to take it. I tried being nice, letting you give it to me, I would have gone slow and sweet and you would have eventually started to like it. But no, you were a tease and didn't follow through, so we do it the hard way.

And if you keep making noise, I'm going to make it even worse, do you understand me?”

The younger nodded, biting his lip to try and keep in the whimpers that wanted to spill out when Lucifer tore his pants and underwear off.

“It's going to be good having you so much, even better that you won't really have time to tighten too much. I'll be able to have my fun quicker.”

Lucifer wasn't wasting anytime with what he was doing, pressing his fingers into Sam, less wet on them than he used before. Though what was there, Sam could only guess wasn't much for his sake, more for Lucifers. Like before he was quick with the fingers, though it was worse actually seeing Lucifers face when he pushed into him.

His eyes were closed, with his head tilted a little back and once he started moving, he slapped a hand over Sams mouth. While he was a little glad for the extra help to stay quiet, he felt a little like it once more wasn't for his benefit.

“Fuck, can't wait to do this more, it's going to be so nice.” Lucifer moaned out lowly.

Sam let his eyes slip shut, trying to go to a happy place in his mind, where he was still smart and happy with Dean. Though he couldn't remember what the other looked like anymore or even if he was older or younger than Sam, he still loved him. Still wanted to never forget him, even if the only thing keeping him from forgetting was the piece of paper in his pillow. He knew that Dean wouldn't be letting this happen, wouldn't be letting him get hurt or rot away in this place. Dean would be nice and loving and look at picture books with him and make him his favorite things to eat. But Dean was gone, never to be seen again and no one cared about him and no one ever would again.

A tear fell down his cheek as he heard Lucifer let out a grunt, the same wetness he felt in the shower filling him up again.

“Looks like I made a mess, how bad of me.” Though he didn't sound upset in the least.

A wet pop was heard and then Sam felt the hot liquid running out of him a few moments before something was shoved against him. From what he could tell it was a towel, Lucifer cleaning him up as best he could before the towel was moved away and Sams pants were back in place. Before he could open his eyes, Lucifers hand was in his hair, tugging him back to a sitting position.

“Now you keep being good like you were today and one of these days I might just be gentle with you, but don't count on it being anytime soon.” Lucifer said, tucking himself back into his pants before calling the nurse.

As he unlocked the door, Sam did his best to wipe away the tears on his face, scared of what was to keep coming. Part of him was calling himself dumb for not just taking what Lucifer wanted to give him, it would have felt good, or so Lucifer said. But it was much too late now, he would never know.

“How was he today?” Sam heard the nurse ask as the guard undid his wrists and helped him off the table.

“Better, though I don't think I'll feel comfortable if the cuffs aren't there.”

“I understand.” She said, nodding, before leading Sam and the guard out.

“See you Wednesday.” Lucifer said, the tone making a chill run up Sams back, though apparently he was the only one.

~*~

Wednesday didn't fair much better for Sam, a bit worse since it was the first time that he actually started to bleed. Though Lucifer cleaned him up again, with the same kind of goodbye when Sam was lead away.

The bleeding didn't continue, though it was starting to hurt going to the bathroom, but a pain pill made it go away when he would ask for them.

On Friday once more he was lead to the doctors office, trying not to sigh as they hooked him up and left, Lucifer closing the door and coming over to him. He seemed more in a rush today, Sams heart speeding up that the door wasn't locked. If someone came in, he would be in trouble, but he couldn't voice what he was thinking, since Lucifer had apparently gotten sick of using his hand on Sams mouth. This time going with tape.

“Going to take you hard today, had a bad night, girl didn't seem to want what I did, but you'll give it to me.” Lucifer growled out, tearing Sams pants off.

~*~

The front door of the hospital opened with a small wooshing sound, foot steps echoing as a person walked in, the doors closing behind him.

“Can I help you sir?”

“I'm here for Sam Winchester.” He said, holding out some papers.

“And your name is?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise guest. dun dun dun


	6. Chapter 6

Tears were falling fast down Sams cheeks as Lucifer continued to use him, pressing into him fast and hard. This time he had used lots of whatever it was that made him wet, so he was sure he wasn't going to bleed, but it still hurt with how fast he was going. The blood rushing in his ears was so loud that he could barely hear what Lucifer was saying, his mumblings against his neck as he held him nearly too tight. What he did hear however was the near scream from near the door, Sams wide eyes snapping over there where a nurse and the security guard were standing.

What happened next was almost too fast for Sam to keep up with, the security guard pulling Lucifer off of him and the nurse helping him pull his pants back up.

“Get the fuck off of me.” Lucifer snarled as the guard cuffed his hands behind his back.

“Get him out of here.” The nurse Tammy, said putting herself between him and Sam.

“Lets go.” The guard said, pulling Lucifer out of there, him fighting against him.

“Oh Sam.” She said, pulling the tape off his mouth.

“Sorry, sorry.” Sam sobbed, trembling on the table.

“No, no baby, you have nothing to be sorry about.”

“M'bad.” He sniffled.

“No, you're not. He is, this isn't your fault.” She said, grabbing some tissues and helping him clean up his face, before undoing his wrists.

A few moments later another nurse, Marge, showed up, Sam still shaking and saying he was sorry.

“Sam, you're not in trouble. We promise, we just need to ask you some questions.”

Sam shook his head, now adding 'M'bad' to the mix.

“Come on, I have an idea.” The new nurse said.

Together they helped Sam off the table, making him shake more, assuming they were going to lock him in his room. Though when they didn't take him that way, but towards the library, he was more confused.

“Here, sit.” Marge said, lowering Sam into his favorite bean bag chair.

“I'm sorry.” Sam said again, biting his lip as she pulled out his favorite book and handed it to him.

“You didn't do anything wrong. It was all him.”

“But.”

“Shh.” Tammy said, kneeling down next to the chair. “I'm guessing he told you differently, that you were going to get in trouble if you told anyone?”

“Yea, said M'bad.”

“You aren't. He's the bad one. And we need to know how long it's been going on.”

Sam frowned a little, fingers running along the edge of the book as he tried to think. He didn't know months anymore, nor weeks. Though in part of his mind, he remembered it started at the same time when he couldn't remember Dean anymore.

“Last time, drew Dean.” He said, looking up at them.

“The last time you drew pictures of your brother?”

He nodded a little.

“Damn, that was a month or more.”

“Hits started before that.”

“Jesus.” Marge said, putting her hand over her heart.

“Have to keep seeing him?” Sam asked, his stomach twisting.

“No, you never have to see him again. Even before we found out what we did.”

“Hmm?”

“Someone is here to take you home.” Tammy said, helping Sam stand again.

Sam tilted his head, holding the book close to his chest before he realized he would have to leave it behind. Holding it out, Marge shook her head and pushed it softly back to Sams chest.

“You can keep it.”

“Sure?”

“Yea, I'm sure.”

Leading him out of the library, they made their way down the hall to a small room near the front and let Sam in. In the room a man was standing, looking over a folder that had the hospital logo on it.

“Mr. Singer?”

The man looked up, a soft sad look on his face as he looked over Sam for a few moments before he put the folder down.

“Sam.” He said, walking forward. “My name is Bobby. I'm told you won't remember me, but I'm here to take you home.”

“Bobby?” He said, tilting his head.

“I was named as your godfather. But the paperwork got lost in a big mess surrounded everything with the accident that happened.” He said, another sad look passing over his face.

Sam still was a little weary, seeing as he didn't have many good memories with men before.

“Oh, yea. I figured this might help you maybe remember.” Bobby said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a square of paper.

He held it out to Sam, who took it cautiously, looking at it. It was a picture of 7 people. In it he could see himself and the man in front of him. To the left there was two women, a blond and a brunette and in the latters hands there was a young blond girl. Next to Bobby there was another male, with dark hair and a beard. When he got to the person next to him, he gasped a little, running his finger down the persons face.

“Dean?” Sam asked, looking up.

“Yea, that's your brother. And this was your mom and your dad.” He pointed to them.

“Who they?” He pointed to the last.

“That's my wife and her little girl, they're getting the house ready.”

“What for?” Sam asked, holding the picture close to him.

“I'm here to take you home Sam.”

“Never have to come back.”

“Never going to have to come back.”

Sams bottom lip shook a little as tears started to fill his eyes. Bobby looked worried for a few moments before he found his arms full of Sam, one hand still holding the picture and book, the other clinging to his vest.

“I'm going to take care of you, don't worry Sam. I know it's been a tough time, but I promise I'll do my best to make everything better.”

All Sam could do was sob softly, though for the first time in three years, he got a real hug that felt safe. It felt like home.


	7. Chapter 7

It didn't take long for them to pack up Sams possessions that he had collected over the years, even though he now had the picture, he still tucked the slip of paper with Deans name on it in the book that he was able to keep. Bobby's car wasn't the best looking thing, but Sam was happy to see the hospital getting smaller behind him.

“Still have to see doctor?” Sam asked when he could no longer see the hospital.

“You don't have to see that one, never again. He's going to jail for a long time. You'll still have to see one every now and again, but I'll be there with you or Jo or Ellen.”

“Your wife.”

“Or step daughter. Only if you want one of us to be there. I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that you aren't hurt again.”

“Thank you.” Sam said softly, watching the scenery.

“I'm just sorry I couldn't get you out of there sooner.”

~*~

They ended up stopping at a store to pick up some clothes for Sam, since all he had was stuff from the hospital, and some food. Sam didn't really have any preferences, though he did really like apple juice, so Bobby made a note of that. He also picked up some other picture books for Sam that the younger picked out, plus some crayons and coloring books.

“You sure?” Sam asked as he added a checker set to the basket.

“You said you liked playing it. So you should have your own.”

“Thank you.” Sam said again, trying not to cry at how nice Bobby was being.

Once they were done there, they were off again towards Bobby's house. When they got there, he honked twice before getting out. By the time Sam got out, the two people from the picture were out, tho the girl was much bigger.

“Wow you got big.” The elder said coming closer, looking him over.

Sam just nodded a little, rubbing his arm.

“Well no matter, it's good to see you again. My names Ellen and this is Jo.” She said, motioning towards her daughter.

“Hi.” He said softly.

“Are you hungry?” She asked.

“Little.” He nodded.

“Come on then, lets get you some food.” She said, holding out her hand.

He looked at it for a moment before he took it in his and she lead him into the house as Jo helped Bobby with the bags.

Sam couldn't remember the last time he wasn't rushed through dinner, nor was the food ever so good at the hospital. At first he felt a little odd asking for more, but Ellen just smiled and told him he could have as much as he wanted.

After dinner Ellen started washing Sams new clothes as Bobby showed him around the house and showing him his room.

“And if you need anything in the night, just come get one of us.”

“Don't wanna bother.” Sam said.

“You won't. We want you to be comfortable here. I know it's going to be different than where you were and we want you to be happy.”

“Hey dad.” Jo said, sticking her head in the room.

“Yea?”

“Mom says that there's a rat that won't get out of the washtub.”

“I'm on it, can you help Sam put the rest of his stuff away.”

“Yea, I can do that.” She smiled as he walked out.

“Hi.” Sam said as Jo came in with the bags from the store.

“Hey. Uhm, where do you want the books?” She asked, pulling them out.

“There.” He said, pointing to the nightstand.

She put them in a stack, then put the crayons and coloring books on the desk and the checkers set on the small table by the door.

“We can play those later if you like.” She said, motioning at the box.

“Have to remind.” He said, a blush coming over his cheeks.

“It's ok, I don't mind. Oh yea, I have something else for you. I'll be right back.” She said, heading out of the room returning a few moments later with a picture frame.

Taking it from her, he gasped a little as he looked at it. It was a big picture of Dean, with a dark blue background.

“This was his senior picture from high school. Bobby told me that the doctor took away your only picture of Dean, so I thought you would like this one.”

“Can keep?” He asked, looking up from it.

“Mmhmm. It's all yours.”

“Will you tell me about him?” Sam asked, hugging the picture to his chest.

“All you want. I'll tell you as many stories as I can, then my mom and Bobby can too.”

“Did he.” Sam swallowed hard. “Did he love me?”

Jo smiled and nodded. “He loved you more than anything else in the world. You were the most important person to him.”

“I was?”

“Mmhmm. He loved you with all of his heart and I know that would never of changed.”

Sam sniffled a little, wiping his eyes as Jo rubbed his arm. Even though he only had been here a few hours, he already felt cared for and happy for the first time in a long time.

“Come on, lets go get some cookies and milk and I can start telling you about Dean.”

“Thank you.” He said, taking her hand as she offered it and leading him out of the room. “Thank you.”


End file.
